When you first get dumped, control and power shifts overwhelmingly into the hands of your exboyfriend. The first move many women make is to try and reason with their ex. You may have already said things and made silly promises in order to convince your ex to come back to you. When that didn’t work, maybe you pleaded. Or even begged. You wrote notes, sent cards, called your ex boyfriend and sent him countless emails trying to let him know how much you love him.
The problem is that none of these things are going to work. Each of these things, while geared to make him realize how much you care about him, is only going to swing the balance of power even further in your exboyfriend’s favor. Love shouldn’t really be treated as a game, but in a break up scenario your ex is holding all the cards. You’re sitting there with nothing, and you’re completely at his mercy. Once you’ve exhausted all of the options you think are available, you give up.
But hey, people get back together with their ex every single day. So what’s different? How do they do it? What’s the best way to get your ex boyfriend to come back to you? The answer’s simple, but it’s actually the opposite of what you might think (and what you’ve probably been doing). To get your ex back, you need to move on with your life.
Try to think of things from your exboyfriend’s perspective. He just ended things, but you (his now ex-girlfriend) are still in love with him. He has the freedom to do what he wants, and to date whomever he chooses. Looking back over his shoulder though, he sees you’re still there for him. Not just there, but actually waiting for him. Hoping he’ll come back. This feeds his ego and lets him know he’s loved.
It gives him the impression he’s something to be desired, and it also gives him the safety net to go out and try to meet someone new. And if that doesn’t work out for him? There you are. Right where he left you. Ready to pick up right where the two of you left off.
It’s pretty crummy to think of things that way, but it’s actually the way your ex sees things right now. While you’re still desperate to fix your relationship, he’s in a very comfortable position. He has no need to get back together with you. Just knowing he can have you back any day of the week is fine enough for him. This is why you have to let go of your ex… move on with your life. You need to leave the place he left you and start gaining some momentum.
When your ex looks back over his shoulder, imagine you’re not sitting there hopeless and upset. Imagine instead, that you’re out with friends. Now picture his face as he sees you laughing, having fun, and doing things without him. Maybe he sees you in a group of people, or maybe he just sees you trying new things. Your ex will get jealous of the fun you’re having without him. He’ll get scared that maybe you’ll move on before he gets the chance to do it himself. Maybe you’ll even meet someone else. No guy wants to see his ex-girlfriend dating someone else, much less doing it before he’s had the chance to find someone for himself.
This isn’t to say you should run out and start dating the first person you see. On the contrary: if you’re still in love with your boyfriend and you want him back, you shouldn’t do anything designed solely toward making him jealous. He’ll resent you for it later on, even if you do end up getting back together. However, don’t wait around for him either. Go on with your life, do the things you love to do, and see the people who make you happy. Your ex won’t want you if you’re sitting at home crying for yourself… but he will start thinking of you again once he sees you moving on.
So don’t sit around asking yourself “What’s the best way to get my boyfriend back?” Instead, work on making your ex want you back without having to do anything at all. The more steps you take in his direction, the faster he’ll run away. But take a few steps back? You’ll probably see a whole different reaction from him.
There are many great techniques for getting back together with your ex. Be sure to check out the whole 8-Step process at How To Get Back An Ex Boyfriend And for some unique ideas on reconnecting again, visit Contacting Your Ex
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What's the Best Way to Get My Boyfriend Back? By Moving On!
